Lady Isobella

Dear Lovelies,

Gosh - what a restless night I had Went to bed relatively early for me as I am trying to catch up on some sleep, but after much tossing and turning I finally gave up at around 3.30am. I had a cup of tea and played with the cats a bit. Got cold, so had another cup of tea and decided to go on the Internet. I decided to search for a dress and having searched every site I could think of - decided that it didn’t exist. By then it was approaching 5.30am and the cats were pounding the floor up and down and brushing heavily against me - purring and meowing loudly. We all had breakfast and - yet another cup of tea for me. For the hell of it I popped back in to bed for about half an hour and then decided I would get up. Went to the gym early - on an empty and ravenous stomach - and having showered - I’m now back home wondering what to do with myself.

Do you ever get days when you know you have much to get through, sort out, etc…and yet you just can’t get started? Well, I’m having one of those and I put it down to the weather.

Hey - I’m looking forward to seeing ‘The Duchess’ with my not-so-favourite-person Keira Knightley. Having seen the trailers it looks like a fab film - and I’m not surprised they chose KK in the starring role - her head needed no adjusting - it was large enough - they just had to find a dress large enough to balance all that on top! Did you catch her at the premier - she had those hideously clumpy shoes of her on again - whoever told her they were nice needs shooting! But you see she needs them to anchor her down!

I read today that Angelina Jolie is suffering from post-natal-depression - brought on by the fact her new born twins are suffering from colic - excessive crying - and she’s not getting much sleep as a result. She apparently breaks down in tears over nothing and has a laughing fit at inappropriate moments. Oh, poor thing. You know it must be terrible for her to suffer what so many women all over the world go through - rich or poor - famous or downright nobody’s. I’m sure she’ll live.  I just have no idea why it’s so newsworthy? In fact, I hate myself for writing about it! But - it’s so annoying when silly reporters make out that just because someone happens to be famous - they should not suffer any human ailment , complaint or condition. At least we have been spared her over-inflated-pouting lips during this time seeing as she has barricaded himself away - oh may it continue for a while yet!

Anyway - got to dash. Speak soon.

Love Issy xxx

Dear Lovelies,

I was thinking what to head up this piece as….I want to talk about what seems to be the story you just can’t get away from these days and for the entire year so far…..

However I was going to head it would have sounded depressing - Credit Crisis - Recession - Gloomy Times…all amounts to the same….But how many people are actually feeling the pinch - or is it a case of the dread of it happening to us? 

Now, I’m far from being an expert, but what I do know is what you gorgeous lovelies are telling me. As you know - I meet an awful lot of smart business guys - who all are pretty much say the same thing, which is this: It’s mostly the media hyping it all out of proportion - it’s not really as bad as anyone is making out - yes some jobs are going to be lost and regrettably some repossession will occur - but on the whole - people will still be promoted - raises are still being awarded and if you grit your teeth - you will ride through it.

I sit and watch the news everyday and I honestly cannot work out why all the ‘experts’ are saying it’s only the UK which is so badly hit? The rest of Europe and America are much better off. Well - why is that exactly? Or are we being sucked into believing this?

I look around me and the shops are all buzzing - people are still going on holiday - Tesco’s are still raking it in - people are still driving and last I checked - people are still switching on their lights and cooking on gas.

I for one am going to carry on the same - I will not let the persistent bad news blighten my life. It’s been endless this year hearing about ‘the worse is yet to come’ - and it never does. Also, about time someone makes a start in looking on the brighter side of life….We should all take it upon ourselves to encourage a new trend, a wave of positivity. We all know that feelings and moods are contageous - so if we swing round now and start being positive, beleiving in ourselves and a brighter tomorrow - it’s bound to go that way sooner rather than later.

So come on guys - don’t listen to the experts - look where that got you - listen to a wise lady and come visit me - I’ll cheer you up!!!!

I am always right - as you know!!!

So now I have instilled you with confidence that everything is going to be alright - smile, be happy and call me!

Love Issy xxx

p.s. Going back to the neighbours thing - one of my neighbours at the flat has installed a satellite dish NASA would be proud of - I cannot imagine what on earth he is trying to receive, but I bet he can reach sites on Mars! Personally, I would be far too embarrassed to have something the size of a smart car hanging out side my house! Talk about ‘mine’s bigger than yours!’ (It’s got to be a man living there!)

Dear Lovelies,

What can I tell you about my neighbours……ummm, let’s see now……Oh yes - they are really annoying!

Do you remember I told you not so long ago how my helpful but oh-so-annoying neighbour ruined my garden with his electric trimmer? Well - if exclaiming my horror and making more than obvious hints at the top of my voice was not obvious enough - then I don’t know what will do the trick - as not a month later - and there he was again - out there with his chain-saw causing more damage.

I really don’t know what to do about him - because I know he means well - it’s just that I don’t want the help. For him - it’s more like fun because he loves any chance to switch that damn machine on. It’s the mess he leaves which I have to clear up which is one of the issues. I wouldn’t mind as much if he tidied up after himself - but he doesn’t.

What takes the biscuit for me is that without fail he will do it the day after my gardener has been. So I have only a day to enjoy my tidy lawn - then  he arrives and it’s disaster. And if it’s not my garden - then it’s his trees he’s trimming and all the tips fall in my garden - and yep - guess who has to go round picking up the bits?

I even stopped thanking him for cutting my hedges - even though I never really asked in the first place - I thought my lack of gratitude would give more than enough hint that I was not happy. But - his skin appears to be as thick as they come!

Thank goodness he’s not keen on painting - I can imagine coming home to a newly painted house every week! I have nick-named him The Busy-body.

Then my neighbours to the other side of me….I guess you could call them the other extreme. They are about as unfriendly as they come. I know their names - can’t remember how I came to know because we were never introduced - but I always refer to them as The Fatties. They appear to be getting fatter and fatter  and are now wider than they are tall.

I noticed today that they have a green bin. I was really surprised as they are the ones who only trim their garden about twice a year - and then it’s a family event. About three generation of relatives decend on their house and each has a go - resulting in all lengths and styles of cut - which leaves it looking even worse. They had it wheeled out this morning - and goodness knows what they had inside - because their grass has not been touched since about June!

Actually as neighbours go - they are not all that bad - they could be worse. At least they don’t make  lot of noise - just the odd burst of terrible music which quickly disappears or the smelly whiff of some strange kitchen effort…..

Asbo-boy - the son of another neighbour has moved out - so don’t see him much anymore - except when he comes to scrounge off his parents. There is a newish couple who have moved down the bottom of the street - whom I have nicknamed Ricky & Bianca as they are always screaming at each other!

Well - it’s time I had some lunch….

Bye for now, and hope to see you soon!

Love Issy xxx

Dear Lovelies,

Further to my previous note about the increase to my business rates - I have have decided to keep the rate equal to all - to keep it fair. This I have done having heard from several of you.

(I have deleted that point from the previous post to avoid confusion - If you have no idea what I am talking about - forget it - it’s really OK!).

See - I do listen!

The new rates are effective from September and should hopefully be updated on my site by then - if not - please call to confirm.

Thanks,

Issy xxx

Dear Lovelies,

Don’t know about you - but as far as I’m concerned - we are in Autumn now. Any nice days to come will only be freak ones. I’ve put away my summer things as I feel exasperated at having waited over three months for summer to arrive and at best it came early and disappeared before we had a chance to appreciate it.

I think we should actually dispense with having all four seasons - because in reality - for whatever scientific or geographical reasons - we don’t get them here. We should just have Autumn and Winter and simply make the most of the odd decent day. But to go as far asto call them Spring/Summer is just stretching the realms of anyone’s imagination too far!

OK - an update on my business proposition is that I have been asked out on more dates - but the business side does not appeal to many….mmmmm…I wonder why!?!  Mind you - I really am happy simply meeting all of you lovelies out there….each time I think I must surely have met all the lovelies alive - along comes another one!

Now - about my donations increase. Guys - I’m really sorry about this - but times are hard for us ladies as well. Whilst you are tightening your belts - we have been feeling the pinch, too. The utilities companies are certainly showing no mercy and whilst I hoped to avoid the increase - I cannot continue to do so

Many of you will know that I am great value - as I never clock watch and most of you get away with much longer than you booked - for NO extra! It’s not that I can’t read the time - or have nothing else to do that day - but I am a generous lady and seeing you enjoy yourself - makes me happy I never remind anyone of the time unless I have another appointment - so hopefully you realise and appreciate this and never feel rushed…

Recently - another lady in the business called me….she wanted to tell me she’d read my blog and had to tell me herself how much she loved it! We chatted about all sorts for ages - she was so genuinely warm and friendly - I was quite gob-smacked! She is London based - has an infectious way of speaking and a killer laugh. Her name - EVA SUGAR.

It was really good to talk to her. We shared so many similar experiences regarding the various time wasters I keep telling you about etc etc…and we both took some comfort that it wasn’t just us! Being an independent can become a bit lonely at times - so every now and again - it’s nice to know there are other girls/ladies out there that are nice enough to be so open and honest.

I know it sounds crazy - but I think I am going to go for a nap now - it’s almost 4pm - but I have had a few crazy late night and my body is crying out for more sleep.

Bye for now - and look forward to seeing you soon.

Love Issy xxx

Dear Lovelies,

I’m afraid to say that from September - fees for my time will be increasing and these changes will be updated on my ‘Business’ page shortly.

Thanks,

Issy xxx

Dear Lovelies,

I love to read some of the ‘quotes of the week’ and this one I found today from Rosanne Barr is genious - I love it - it is hilereous!

PA

“Evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous lover Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more.” Comedian Roseanne Barr launches a vicious attack on Brand Pitt and Angelina Jolie on her blog, claiming the couple don’t do as much for charity as they lead people to believe.

My sentiments entirely! I’ve never been a fan - of either of them.

Oh, and have you heard - now this might surprise you - it did me - or should it have - given the current celebrity obsessed nation this is….but it seems there is going to be a musical out soon: ‘David Beckham - The Theatre of Dreams’.

Oh pleeeeeeease!

In disbelief,

Issy xxx

Dear Lovelies,

My mum and dad have always said I had a fascination with disgusting stories - and they are right.

Here to prove the point is a story I read on the MSN website today and felt it was something I just HAD to share with all of you!

It’s rather awful - so be warned!

HOTEL IN SOUP OVER ‘FISH TAPEWORM’

A man who says he got a 9ft (3m) tapeworm after eating undercooked fish has sued a Chicago restaurant.

Anthony Franz filed a lawsuit saying he ordered salmon salad for lunch from Shaw’s Crab House in 2006 and fell violently ill. He later passed the giant parasite, which he said a pathologist determined came from undercooked fish, such as salmon.

Mr Franz’s lawsuit seeks £200,000 from Shaw’s and its parent company, Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises. But Lettuce Entertain You insist the tapeworm did not come from Shaw’s.

On that happy note - I bid you a grand afternoon!

See you soon,

Love Issy xxx

Hello Lovelies,
 
Every so often and especially of late - a lovely will ask me out to dinner or if I would consider anything more…..Well so far I have always declined for various reasons.
 
That is until now when I am thinking : ’Why not?’
 
So, I’ve come up with a business proposition - for a genuinely wealthy SINGLE man i.e. not already in a relationship, separated or recently divorced and still emotionally precious. 
 
If you make me laugh, are clean, reasonably attractive and have enough financial clout to keep me well cared for, then this could be the opportunity you have been seeking. 

I would like to enjoy life more… and work a little less… If you fit the bill, have the means to provide this and relish the challenge of an arrangement that suits both your male desires and my financial needs - then let’s talk!

I am looking forward to hearing from a sincere lovely who is wondering how to share his wealth… 

Thanks very much :-)

Love Issy xxx
PS. To my regulars… don’t panic, I shall still be the girl you know and love… xx

Hello Lovelies!

Long time no write! I hope you have missed me

Well, I am back now and what news have I got to rave about today?

First off, the Olympics. What a spectacular opening show we were given last Friday. Who cares if not all the fireworks were real or the little girl mimed to another’s voice - it was neither a firework competition nor X-Factor. The organisers just wanted to cover all bases and they certainly did that. The co-ordination of the thousands of people who were involved was awesome. I, who cannot sit still to watch a whole movie, was able to sit through that with out even the need for any stimulant - like chocolate.

Anyway - I suppose the only ones to top the show have got to be the athletes themselves. And my goodness - Micheal Phelps - what an amazing swimmer. I so hope he gets his eight gold medals. A quote from the Daily Mail today says this about him - which you may not already know:

‘ Phelps began swimming as a seven-year-old. He was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and was prescribed the drug Ritalin. Phelps used the sport as an outlet for his hyperactivity and took it up professionally at the age of 16. He is now recognised as the most successful swimmer the world has ever seen and could be the greatest athlete in history.’

And the young diver, Tom Daley - what a cutie! I have to say he is such an Ambassador to the sport. At fourteen years old his speech and manner are so mature and streets ahead of his partner who is twelve years his senior! I am loving the riding events. I love their outfits - and the horses are so gorgeous. I have even been enthralled by the rowing - which is a new one on me! I am fascinated by the weight lifters - in particular the women, because I cannot imagine what makes any woman wake up one day and think that’s something she’s going to want to spend her life doing? I have not caught any gymnastics - and besides Andy Murray going out in style - not caught any tennis, either. I guess that will come. The filming of each event is so fantastic - sitting at home we definitely got the best view, and in slow motion - as with the swimming - it is breathtaking.

I had a client call me last week - he wanted to know if he could see me the next day. He said that he had been once before but was concerned that the girl he saw was not the one on the website. Apparently the one in the pictures has long hair - and the one he saw had shorter hair.

Well, listen up. There are a total of 65 pictures in my gallery - with a total of just 10 with the long wig - so pray how does anyone look at the gallery and assume that the 10 relate to the current look? If it were so important - why not ask before booking? I mean there are different styles and colours - so one would assume a woman might like to change her hair style every now and again. Besides which - what if I had it cut? At any rate - I do mention on my blog that it IS a WIG and even have a poll asking you to tell me how you rate it.

Keeping with the theme of numpties - I had a guy call me a few weeks ago who wanted to come and ‘view’ me first to decide if he really did want to see me properly - as we wanted to be sure we’d click. Many things went through my mind at the time - but ‘oh what a lovely man this is’ was not one of them. I politely told him that this was not a service I offered. Sorry.

I like to tell you about these funny stories as I think it amuses most of you. Invariably - it also means that I will get calls by those who find it hilarious to copy-cat the story to supposedly annoy me. So, if you are reading this now and thinking what a hoot it’s going to be to do just that - be my guest! You are the saddo - not me! It never ceases to amaze me just how many guys have nothing better to do with their time than to make fictitious calls and ask stupid questions in the name of fun.

Get a life is all I can say!

What I would also like to say is thank you to those faithful lovelies - new and old - who continue to visit me. I love to hear about your work and travels, your likes and dislikes, and for sharing a laugh about the world around us and the funny situations we find ourselves in.

On that note, have a super rest of the week, and I look forward to seeing you soon!

Love Issy xxx